when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
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