His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
