You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
