I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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