She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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