i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
