I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
