omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
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I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
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sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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