No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
