And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
