I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
