He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
