Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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