You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
The uberlube is also flammable
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They have beer where we have blood.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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