i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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