Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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