This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
