sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
