need another drink. this is the easiest way
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
