I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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