wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
its not stalking. its research.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
