my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Randomize
