I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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