I want to walk on stilts...naked
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
