girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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