We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
