The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
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