I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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