i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
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