Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
