well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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