Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
