He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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