Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
