its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
