Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
