It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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