I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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