i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
