Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
