who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize