I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
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