Screwed.edu
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Found your dick twin last night
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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