Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
