I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize