i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
