literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
