Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
