Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Randomize
