On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
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No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
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She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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