Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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