i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
