I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
