people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I cut my penus on the lid.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
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All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
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When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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