guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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