guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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