So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Ladies don't puke and tell
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
