pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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