I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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