I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
