He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
