Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
