do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
