I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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