I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
